Muggle Mischief: The Crimson Stallion
by namnagii
Summary: "Careful, Malfoy. Your Muggleophobia is showing." "Shut your trap, Potter." Post Hogwarts, Dramione, Ron/Harry/Draco friendship. /I suck at summaries/


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

"You cannot be serious!" exclaimed by The-boy-who-lived and now well-known for his nickname, The-boy-who-killed-Voldemort.

"Oh, I'm perfectly serious Harry. Draco's coming with you and Ron." Arthur Weasley answered the younger boy's distressed outburst. "He can help you find the girls."

"Draco?! When did he become Draco?!" now it was Ron's turn to disagree with his father-slash-temporary boss. Harry nodded his agreement and frustration.

"If you lot keep talking like I'm not here, I'd probably get going." Draco Malfoy said dryly and turned to leave. But before he did so, Mr. Weasley caught his shirt collar and dragged him back to his side.

"Honestly, boys. You three are grown adults. Let's put the past behind us and act like the adults that we are." Mr. Weasley sighed in frustration. He knew this would happen but still hoped that the three boys would be mature enough to handle this.

Draco Malfoy scratched his head in irritation. "Arthur, Mr. Weasley. I need to get back to my work. Patil would kill me for ignoring our workload just because she's not here." at the end of his sentence, he had a forlorn look on his face.

"Ms. Patil will not kill you, Draco. But she needs you now."

"Parvati?" Ron reluctantly asks. His curiousity getting the better of him.

"Padma."

"Oh, no surprise. She's as much a swot as Hermione back at Hogwarts." the mention of Hermione seemed to make their moods glum. She was missing for months now along with some of the girls they went with in Hogwarts and no one knew where they went. Hermione seemed to be the first one to disappear. No one knew where to find her. Not even Malfoy.

Both Harry and Ron noticed Draco tense at the mention of Hermione. They saw a flicker of sadness cross his face before being replaced by annoyance. "So, as I was saying, I need to get back to my work." he turned to leave again but stopped at Harry's voice.

"Malfoy, I know- we know you're just as much as worried for Hermione as we is your chance to find her." Mr. Weasley and Ron were both surprised to hear Harry had accepted Malfoy to go with them. It took Ron for only a moment to nod his head in agreement.

Draco turned around and glared at Harry, pointing a finger at his direction "We are never going to find her, Potter. I've.." He dropped his hand, took a deep breath and shook his head sadly. "I've tried for three months of calling her, tracking where she might be hiding, or taken. But," he paused, trying to calm himself. "nothing. It's like she disappeared from the world."

Ron beamed at them, an invisible light bulb appearing above his head and smiled. "You are a genius, Malfoy!"

"What?" the blonde blinked, confused.

"What are you talking about, Ron?" Harry asked, equally clueless.

"Maybe they're not in our wizarding home, maybe they are in the muggle world. Not here, but there!" Ron boomed loudly and had an expression of victory. "You're a genius, Malfoy!"

"Brilliant, Ron! Maybe they are in the muggle world. Now our chances of finding them have been doubled!" Mr. Weasley smiled happily. He turned to Draco and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Don't lose hope, son. You are still going to find her." Draco's face softened and a small smile threatenened to grace his lips. He turned to Ron, who was still smiling, and gave a nod.

"Thanks, Weasley."

"Why are you thanking me? It was your idea." Ron said grinning, it earned a playful punch on the shoulder from Harry.

"What are we waiting for? We have girl friends to find."

* * *

"Where on Earth are we, Potter?" Draco asked Harry for the millionth time that day. The raven-haired young man rolled his eyes at him. "And how long are we going to sit in this muggle tranportation?"

"I kind of agree with Malfoy on this one, Harry." Ron concorded, stifling another vomit rising from his stomach. "I'm getting sick."

"Thirty more minutes to go, guys. I need a little patience. We can literally see the land from here." Harry answered and rose from his chair. They were on a boat to an island where they traced some magic being cast from Pansy's wand. "I think we need to prepare our things for touchdown."

"Touchdown?" confused, Ron asks.

"Muggle term."

"Ah."

"Besides Hermione, Padma and Pansy, Potter. Err.. who are the other.. you know.."

Harry raised an eyebrow at Draco's inability to finish his own sentence but understood what he meant. He sighed and took out the list of missing girls from his backpocket. "Luna Lovegood, Padma Patil, Cho Chang, Pansy Parkinson, Lisa Turpin, Hannah Abbot, and Hermione Granger."

When Draco heard the list, he immediately discovered the connection between them. The girls were in the top ten Honor roll. "Well, Potter. I don't know why you haven't figured it out yet, but they were the smartest girls in school."

"What.."

"There is no question when it comes to Granger. Lovegood was number eight in her year. Eventhough she's a bit Loony, she has the best perspective amongst all of us. Patil was in the top five, just below me. Cho Chang's number six, when they graduated. Abbot was somewhere near eight or nine when we were awarded, I forgot. Eventhough Pansy was well, Pansy. She was number seven." Draco explained, stroking his non-existent beard below his chin. "Yes. And Turpin was an evil little witch. Atleast she has brains to cover that up."

Harry nodded and smiled fondly at the memory. "I thought I'd never see the day where a Gryffindor and a Slytherin beat a Ravenclaw in class."

"THE Gryffindor and THE Slytherin is more like it, Harry." Ron snickered when he saw Draco blush. "Aw, come on, Malfoy. We still don't know the history behind the romance between you and Hermione."

"Now that I think about it, you're right, mate. Hermione didn't really want to share what happened between the two of them." Harry and Ron eyed Draco teasingly and snickered some more. "Tell us all the details, Malfoy. Hey."

"What makes you think I'm going to tell you? Granger didn't and she was right not to." Draco replied stubbornly like a child being teased by his parents.

Ron and Harry couldn't help but laugh louder at that. Now they really wanted to know what had happened between the two. When they tried to open the topic up with Hermione, the girl would blush scarlet and pretend she didn't hear the question, or changed the subject. The thought of Hermione brought them back to their current dilemma.

Harry sobered up and dusted of some invisible dirt from his robes and looked at the two gentlemen. Then focused his gaze at the Malfoy heir. "Alright, thanks for that information, mate. It helped us a lot."

"You are one smart and clever guy, Malfoy. I never figured it out. Until now." Ron said, impressed. But this time, he couldn't hold the puke any longer and hurled all over the place.

"Ugh, Weasley! The water is just behind you!"

"I'm sorry! I couldn't hold it in anymore!"

"Guys, come on. We only have less than twenty minutes now." Harry said and cleaned up the mess with his wand carefully so that no one saw him.

"Let's go then, I am getting a little freaked out being on this bloody boat for bloody hours." Draco annoyingly scratched his head while heading to their shared room. If you even call it a room. "This place gives me invisible hives."

"Feeling uncomfortable being surrounded by muggles, Malfoy?" the redhead teased. It earned an unimpressed scowl from the blonde. "I'm just kidding, mate. Don't get your knickers up in a twist." Ron laughed and Harry joined, causing Draco to throw the finger at them. This only caused the two best friends to laugh louder.

* * *

"From hours on the boat to an hour ride in the train? Blimey, Harry. I can't take this much mechanical travelling anymore. Why can't we just apparate or floo?" the youngest Weasley male whined once they settled in a train compartment and learned that it's an hour full of torture.

"How can you apparate if you don't know the exact place? You haven't even been there." Harry answered. "Besides, this is an all-Muggle community. There are no witches or wizards here. I'm surprised we even tracked magic from this place. It's basically a Muggle wonderland." he added.

"All m-muggles?!" Draco exclaimed. "Holy shit."

"Careful, Malfoy. Your Muggleophobia is showing."

"Shut your trap, Potter."

* * *

"We're finally here." Harry annouced. By the time they reached their destination, it was already eleven in the evening. "I hope we are."

"Are you sure, Harry?" Ron eyed up the building with a sign which says 'Crimson Stallion' wearily. "This place is.."

"This is a pub, Potter. Are you telling me that the smartest witches, and safe to say classiest, are in a muggle alcohol establishment?"

"Yes. We're getting hotter."

"You're not that hot, Potter. You wish." Draco slightly sneered but couldn't help but examine the bar in front of them curiously.

"I meant the signal from Parkinson's magic is really strong at this point, Malfoy. That was a muggle saying, you idiot."

"How would I know?"

Ron groaned at their childish bickering and shoved the two out of his way. "Are we going to investigate or not?" Ron was about to push open the door when someone from inside already pulled it back.

"Are you boys going to stand outside all night?" says a short, tubby man with white hair and a heavy unknown accent. "The show's about to start."

The three boys looked at each other then back at the waiting man in front of them. Draco cleared his throat and asked, "The show...?"

* * *

Draco, Ron, and Harry found themselves seated in front of a small stage with a runway in the middle of it. They had to pay a large amount of money just to be let inside the pub, and an extra amount because the only table left was the most expensive one. Harry looked sick. He had to spend all of his savings he kept in two months. The bar doesn't accept credit cards and he was forced to give the only muggle money inside his pocket.

"Turn that frown upside down, Harry. We got in. Just tell the Ministry they owed you a lot." Ron tried to console Harry but Draco just had to ruin it.

"They already owed him a lot before this whole mess." he says.

"Shut up, Malfoy." the redhead hissed.

Harry rolled his eyes at them. "I'm alright you idiots. No need to argue about non-existent problems." Harry poked Ron on his side and whispered, "Take a look around, Ron. Try to find them or something fishy." Ron nodded and observed the surroundings, avoiding suspicion. He then stared at his right at Draco. "You do the same, mate."

"Gotcha."

After a few more moments. They haven't found something shady going around so they gave up trying. Just as they were about to get up from the table and inspect all the backrooms, the lights went out and music started to play. Girls wearing sexy costumes that left little to the imagination with transparent masks came out from the back of the stage and started dancing on all the corners of the platform. The three boys froze when they realized who the girls were.

"Sweet Merlin."

"Holy shit."

"Bloody Hell."

The girls went down the stage and approached every table in the club except for a few tables including theirs. Harry's eyes widened when who he assumed was Luna "Loony" Lovegood, his Loony Lovegood, straddled a big fat man drinking beer and started dancing on top of him. Harry looked like he was about to pass out. "Oh my gods."

Ron was also in no good condition. His face turned the shade of his hair when he saw Pansy give an old man twice her age, a lap dance. He wanted to stand up but Draco's voice stopped him. "No, Weasley. You'll blow our cover."

"But-"

"I know. Your girlfriend just have to wait."

"How-"

"Everyone knows, Ronald Weasley. Only you and Pansy think we don't know about the two of you." Draco shook his head when Ron's face turned even a darker shade of red.

Harry took a deep breath and surveyed around. He saw Padma, giggling at something an older man said. Lisa Turpin giving a big hairy man a provocative shoulder massage while straddling his lap. Hannah spinning on the table with a pole in the middle of it, showing her barely covered parts to the gentlemen sitting around it. And Cho was just dancing in front of the men in the farthest table. Slowly, taking her clothes off one by one. The only missing girl was Hermione. He was about to voice his question when Ron beat him to it.

"Where's Hermione?" the three young men looked for her around the pub, but to no avail, they did not see her. "I just saw a sign. And it relieved me."

"What, Weasley?" Draco inquired, and the former Gryffindor keeper pointed at a poster just beside the stage.

"They don't really go nude all the way. The customers aren't allowed to touch them. Or else they'd be funded for-"

"Merlin. That's a lot!" Harry exclaimed.

"Now, where is our Hermione?" Ron still searched for their missing best friend and tried to avoid the slowly disappearing articles of clothing from their schoolmates.

Harry looked behind them, at the sides, the other tables, still no sign of Hermione. "Don't lose hope, guys. Once we find her, we'll blow this whole place up and get our girls back."

"Guys.." mumbled Draco, but the two didn't hear him.

"Harry, that's not right."

"I know. But THIS is just WRONG."

"Guys.." Draco said a little louder. But they still ignored him.

"If you blow this whole place up, there will be a lot of paperwork and reports to be submitted! And they're muggles, Harry Potter!"

"Guys.."

"Sod the fucking paperwork! They defiled our friends! Who cares if they're muggles?! This is not work of a human!"

"Harry, what is wrong with you?!"

"GUYS!" that earned their attention.

"What?" both men turned to look at him. But Draco wasn't looking at them but in front of him where a girl with a more classy and more posh outfit than the others, was slowly lowering herself from the stage and approaching their table.

"Holy shit, I think I found her."

"Hi." Hermione smiled, settling herself on Draco's lap. "I haven't seen you here before. What's your name?" she purred seductively into his ear.

"Granger-"

"Granger? What an odd name." she continued to use that tone of hers which Draco liked so much to hear her say when they- "Let me massage your shoulders. You look tense." his train of thought was cut off by her sweet and sultry voice. He was about to grab her arms when she stopped him. "Ah-ah. No touching. Or else you're going to pay a BIG amount of money." she stressed out the word big while still massaging his shoulders. Ron and Harry were too gobsmacked and can't do anything. "There's something about you."

"I feel the same way." Someone kicked him under the table and he assumed it was Potter. Draco managed to break away from his trance and clear his throat. "Hermione, don't you remember me?"

"Hermione? Why? Have we met before?" she asks, now confused.

"Yes. If you mean by met, we started shagging at the age of seventeen in the school's library." Draco heard Ron suck in a deep breath after what he said._ Great._ He thought. _Now they know._ Hermione tutted, shook her head then frowned at him.

"You gotta work better on your pick up lines." she says then stood up. "And it's Scarlett. Not Hermy." she turned to walk away when Harry stood up and grabbed her arm. "Hey! Let go of me!" A bouncer had heard her and then made his way to their table.

"Excuse me, sir. Please leave the premises after paying your penalty." the big dark man addressed Harry.

"I don't think so, punk." with a flick of his wand, the lights went out. And so did they.

* * *

"Potter that was amazing! How did you manage to get us out of there? I mean, all of us!?" Draco exclaimed looking ecstatic and victorious at the same time.

"It was a complex spell Malfoy. When we first saw the girls, I casted the spell on them. But we couldn't leave yet without Hermione. So when we saw her, I was too shocked. WE were too shocked. And then I heard you mumble something along the lines of 'I feel the same way' that brought me back to reality and kick your sorry arse."

"So that was you?" Harry nodded and grinned. Draco kicked his shin harder than intended. Harry let out a pained scream and shot him a glare. "You deserved that."

"Excuse me, what are we doing here? Did you pay extra?" Padma asked them from her seat on the train. She looked confused and really different from the Padma they know.

"Yeah. What she said." Lisa nodded her head vigorously while pointing at Padma. "'Cause if you didn't, we still have a show tonight."

"No. You're not going back there." Ron snapped but had no venom. He bit his clenched fist while tapping his right foot. He was squished between Lisa and Padma.

"But, we're going to miss the pretty outfits and sparkly lights." Pansy pouted and fluttered her eyes.

The three men looked at each other frowning. Though it was Harry who spoke first. "What the hell is going on?"

"Why can't we go back? I left my favorite butterfly earrings! The ones with tiny springs on them!" Cho cried in despair. She looked about to cry and the other girls looked distressed too.

Exclaims of 'Oh no!' 'Poor earrings.' and 'Aw, they were cute!' were heard from the girls. Ron suddenly stood up and looked at them in horror.

"Who are you people?!"

"I'm Violett." says Turpin.

"Pinky." came from Padma.

"My name's Blue. Just like my butterfly earrings." Cho whimpered now actually sobbing.

"Honey." answered Hannah.

"Emerald." said a sleepy looking Pansy.

"I'm Snow." informed Luna.

"Scarlett here. Star of the show." the last one to state her name was Hermione. The other girls hummed in approval.

"What?! You're named after colors?!" the redhead blanched.

"Honey is a color?" beamed a bewildered Hannah.

Ron turned to an equally disturbed Harry and shouted, "You were right! We should've just blew up the whole place! Now it looks like the smart was sucked out of them!"

"Smart sucked out of them.." Draco mumbled under his breath with a look of discovery painting his face. "Girls.. who's your employer?"

"What's an employer?" Luna inquired, baffled.

"Oh, Circe, Merlin and Morgana!" Ron hollered out. "Are you freaking kidding me?!"

"Violett, the red haired man is scaring me." Hannah clutched Lisa's right arm while staring at Ron in terror.

"You know. Your boss, master.." Draco continued as if the youngest male Weasley didn't have a slight panic attack.

"Oh! Are you talking about our really smart and kind Miss Goldilocks?" Hermione wondered. "She's really pretty and has nice eyes."

"Goldilocks?"

"Yes. She lives in the club like we do." one of the girls clarified.

"Every week, she comes in our room and gives us little gifts." explained Luna.

"Yes, and that includes my butterfly earrings!" cried Cho.

Ron groaned in irritation and glared at Cho. "Would you stop mentioning those damn earrings!" this just made the Scottish girl cry louder. "Ugh."

"I think we should go back." the blonde heir of the Malfoy family declared. Looking at both Ron and Harry who nodded their heads in agreement.

Cho perked up but immediately deflate when Ron eyed her, "Not you." he says.

* * *

The three young men left the girls in a motel room for three. They were cramped in there and didn't even complain. Harry, Ron, and Draco were even surprised when one of them said this was much bigger than their shared room in Ms. Goldilocks' club.

"Once I see that 'Legendary' smart and kind Ms. Goldilocks, I'm going to flay her." Ron muttered angrily while stomping to the front doors of the Crimson Stallion.

Harry and Draco silently agreed but chose not to encourage the redhead's blood lust for the pub owner. "Maybe we should wait until morning. I mean, they might recognize us. Considering Pothead here touched their star." Malfoy looked knowingly at Harry. "You just had to go that early."

"Hermione was leaving!"

"Yes, but she will be back. Come on, haven't you ever been in a club like this before?" Draco inquired, one eyebrow raised.

"No. Why would I?" Harry answered, reluctantly.

"Exactly. You wouldn't know. If you didn't grab Hermione, we would have settled their release in a more peaceful manner, and get to know who their employer was." Draco shook his head then added, "Sometimes, stupidity is mistaken for bravery and nerve

"If you say that again Malfoy, you're the one who's going to get skinned tonight." Ron bristled from his place in front of them while glaring at Draco.

"Ron, he's right." Draco couldn't help but throw Ron a smug look. "And, he just admitted he goes to a strip club to get laid."

"I did not say such things!" the blonde shouted, offended.

"Gosh, what would Hermione think?" Ron teased more.

"I never go to clubs of these like to get laid! I had her. She was enough!" Draco twitched in anger and let a few things slip out without his consent. "I would never do that to Hermione. I'm in love with her."

Silence.

Throat Clearing.

Head Scratching.

"Sorry, Draco."

"It's okay, Harry."

"I never meant any of that, Draco mate."

"Of course, I know that Ron."

Their little moment was broken when a lady with a shotgun stepped out of the club and pointed it at them. Ron, Harry, and Draco looked at each other, screamed and ran behind a dumpster just in time the first shot was fired.

"Get back here you no good little kids!"

"We're not kids anymore!" was heard behind the garbage bin, assumingly from the Weasley male.

"Ron!" yes, it was him.

Another shot.

"Stop! Are you mad?!" was heard from Harry.

Another shot.

"We're going to die." mumbled Draco. "We are going to die at the hands of a muggle!" this time he screamed.

"What makes you think I'm a muggle?!" shouted the soon to be murderer. Three heads peeked from behind the trash can. "I am never a muggle!"

"Then why are you using a muggle weapon?!" Ron roared, exasperrated.

"I want to see your blood spill!" says the deranged woman.

"She's nuts." voiced Harry. "Ms. Goldilocks! Is it?" he asked, now regaining his courage back.

"How did you know my name?" her eyes widened and then she reloaded the shotgun. "You made them tell the truth?!" she asked, still pointing the gun at them. "What else did they tell you?!"

Harry slowly stood up straight and went around their hiding place to face her properly. "Harry, what are you doing?!" demanded a bewildered Ron. The other boy just gestured for him to shut up.

"Mrs. Goldstein?" Harry wondered out loud, now distinguishing who the lady was. "What-"

"Harry Potter?!" the woman, now identified as Mrs. Goldstein, lowered the shotgun and eventually dropped it to the ground. "I am so sorry."

Ron and Draco went out of their hiding place to stand beside Harry. Ron slowly took the shotgun from the ground and placed it behind him.

"Now this was unexpected." was the last sentence from Ron they heard that night.

* * *

"What in this world possessed you to kidnap these girls, suck the intelligence out of them, and dump them into a.. a.. whorehouse?!" Draco bellowed. Ron, Harry, and finally the now back-to-normal Hermione couldn't agree more.

"It wasn't a whorehouse, it was a bar for exotic dancers." the suspect said trying to defend herself. But the four people in front of her just ignored her.

"Why did you choose to do this, Mrs. Goldstein?" Hermione inquired the middle-aged woman with a surprisingly calm voice.

Mrs. Goldstein, mother of Anthony Goldstein, sighed in defeat. She looked back between the four Aurors with regret displayed in her eyes. "It's my grand daughter. Cecilia."

"Cici? Anthony's daughter?" Ron clarified.

"Yes. Who else, genius?" Draco jabbed.

"Yes, her. Well, she has a mental brain problem and needs help. I don't have enough money to acquire a legal medical help. And so does Anthony, so it lead me to do this." she sighed again and looked at the four. "I really am truly sorry."

Harry took a seat in front of her and looked her straight in the eyes. "Mrs. Goldstein. You know the charges of kidnapping, right? This doesn't excuse you for the crime you made." Harry turned to look at Hermione and smiled. "Hermione, Luna and Hannah dropped charges against you but it seems Parkinson, Turpin, Padma, and Cho won't." Harry scratched his head. "Especially, Cho."

Ron stifled a grin before explaining. "You made her look like a dumb emotional bimbo for crying over the earrings you gave her. Said earrings which sucked her intelligence out of her." Ron's stifled grin turned into a full blown smile. "I've never seen Cho this mad before, not since Hermione scarred her best friend for life."

"Please don't talk about that, Ron." Hermione scolded but couldn't help but grin.

Harry turned his attention back to Mrs. Goldstein, "We are sentencing you to Azkaban for a year. You involved Muggles by erasing the memories of the real pub owner and using another witch's wand to do so. And of course. For kidnapping seven ministry officials." Harry began to stand up. "It could have been worse if you didn't tell the truth and if the other three didn't drop the charges against you."

"Of course. I understand." came from Mrs. Goldstein.

"But this still doesn't explain why you sent them to a strip club." Draco wouldn't just let the subject go.

"Well, about that. You would like to tell me the truth, right?" the older woman reluctantly asked, and the other four just nodded their heads. "Anthony and his wife enjoy watching shows like these. And.." now really loathing to say the next sentence, Mrs. Goldstein tried to test her luck. "they say it's an ultimate turn on to see the smartest girls in Hogwarts dance provocatively."

"WHAT?!" bellowed the four former students

"Too much?" Mrs. Goldstein tried to smile.

* * *

The next day found Draco and Hermione walking hand in hand on a bridge of an unknown location. Enjoying the comfortable silence and the slowly setting sun. Draco suddenly halted, almost immediately finding his shoes to be more interesting.

"Draco?" she asks, worried. "What's wrong?"

Draco just shook his head, held both her hands with his own and looked straight into her eyes. "I missed you , Hermione. I thought I'd never see you again."

Hermione smiled at this and held his cheek with her right hand. "Why? Afraid to lose a brilliant shagging partner?" she joked slightly. Although it hurt her to say so.

"No." he shook his head removing her hand and holding it with his again. "I don't want us to be just that. Shagging partners."

"What are you saying, Draco?"

The Malfoy heir groaned in frustration and grabbed both her shoulders, although tight but not painful. "What I'm saying is, Hermione. I want to be with you. I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to sleep at night knowing that you're already mine. I want to hold your hand all day. I want to pick you up at lunch, eat take out with you, and just be silly with you Hermione. Hell I'd even give up my Muggleophobia for you." at this, Hermione raised an eyebrow. He took a deep breath before continuing. "What I'm saying is that I'm in-love with you and I wanna grow old with you, Hermione Granger."

Hermione had tears in her eyes but refused to let them spill. "There you go, what took you so long?" she says, smiling softly

"I never got the courage until the thought of losing you again made me scold myself and kick the coward out of me." he smiled sheepishly, sliding his hands to rest on her waist.

"If I couldn't wait any longer I would have kicked the coward out of you myself." Hermione jested snaking her arms around his neck.

Draco laughed at this and bent his head down to capture her lips. "I'm glad I decided to let him out before you beat the crap out of him." Hermione hummed in agreement after kissing him.

"One more thing, Draco."

"Hmm?"

"I love you too."

FIN

* * *

:)


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